En Whatever

Tweeting the Passion of Christ

It appears that Trinity Church in Manhattan's financial district has set up a Twitter account -- @twspassionplay -- to perform the Passion Play via 140-character tweets. This offends me like few other things, because it treats religious ideas as so much product to be hawked. This gives an unfortunate new meaning to Christ's followers. (Thanks to a nameless friend for this last line.)

And so, I was inspired to write the following parody ... not of the Passion Play, but of this asinine idea of moving everything to new media, whether appropriate or not, and selling religion. For those who insist on taking this as an attack on Christian idea, don't bother leaving a message here – go talk to Trinity Church. They're the ones trying to make personal gain off this.

@Narrator: Last Supper

@Christ: Dig in. #apostles

@Christ: Bread, anyone? #apostles

@Christ: Pass the wine. #apostles

@Luke: @ Jesus Good wine. What vintage?

@Christ: @Luke Five minute ago.

@Peter: Pass the potatoes. #apostles

@Judas: @Peter Sorry, took the last one.

@Christ: One of you will betray me. #apostles

@Peter: @Christ Is it I?

@Andrew: @Christ Is it I?

@BigJames: @Christ Is it I?

@LittleJames: @Christ Is it I?

@John: @Christ Is it I?

@Philip: @Christ Is it I?

@Bartholomew: @Christ Is it I?

@Matthew: @Christ Is it I?

@Thomas: @Christ Is it I?

@Thaddeus: @Christ Is it I?

@Simon: @Christ Is it I?

@Christ: Nice grammar. #apostles

@Judas: @Christ Is it I?

@Christ: RT @Judas: @Christ Is it I?

@Peter: @Christ I'll go to prison with you.

@Christ: @Peter Oh, yeah. Right.

@Christ: I'm short on cash. Anyone have the tip? #apostles

@Judas: @Christ Not now, but I will soon.

@Christ: I'm going for a walk. Anyone else? #apostles

@Narrator: Garden of Gethsemane:

@Christ: @Father Do I hafta?

@Christ: @Father Hello?

@Christ: Stop snoring! #apostles

@Judas: @Christ [smooch]

@Christ: @Judas Eeewww!

@RomanSoldier1: @Christ Time's up.

@Christ: @RomanSoldier1 Yes, I've already heard.

@Narrator: Christ Judged

@Crowd1: @Christ Guilty!

@Crowd2: @Christ Pfffft.

@Crowd3: @Peter Aren't you a friend of his?

@Peter: @Crowd3 Sorry, don't know him.

@Crowd4: @Peter I've seen you with him.

@Peter: @Crowd4 Nope.

@Crowd5: @Peter Me too.

@Peter: @Crowd5 Said I don't know him!

@Rooster: Cockadoodle doo.

@Peter: Oops.

@Pilate: I don't see a problem. #crowd

@Priest: @Pilate He's a troublemaker.

@Pilate: Send him to @Herod. #crowd

@Herod: @Christ Come on … just a *little* miracle?

@Herod: Take him back to @Pilate. #crowd

@Pilate: @Christ Sorry, dude.

@Narrator: Christ on the Cross

@RomanSoldier2: Nail him down. #soldiers

@Christ: Ow!

@Christ: @Father Forgive them. They know not what they tweet.

Labels: religion, satire, Twitter

posted by Erik Sherman @ 11:06 AM 1 Comments Links to this post

How Presidential Candidates Answer the 3AM Call

The Clinton and Obama campaigns had traded those "How would he/she/it answer that call in the middle of the night?" ads. But I realized that no one actually mentioned what the answer would be. So I put the vast resources of the En Words crack investigative team to work and came up with answers. Here is how each of the three major presidential candidates would answer a crisis call at 3 in the morning:

• John McCain Nuke 'em.


• Barack Obama Maybe if we wait until breakfast, things will change.


• Hillary Clinton Bill, it's for you. (Pause.) Bill? Are you there, Bill?

Labels: Politics, satire

posted by Erik Sherman @ 9:40 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Times of London Keeps Radar Close - Too Close

New York Magazine has an interesting piece about the ... mmm ... similarities - yes, exactly, similarities - between a September Radar articled called 100 Reasons Why You're Still Single, and a similar-sounding one - 50 Reasons Why You're Still Single - that the Times of London ran last weekend. New York compares many elements of the list, version by version. Surprise! There are similarities! (If there weren't, I suspect the New York take wouldn't have taken.)

But the entire affair has left me with two questions. One, why did the Times only have 50 reasons? Maybe it figured those were reasons enough. The second question: Why did the Times wait so long to run its version? Answer: it takes a long time for the print copy of Radar to arrive in their offices.

Labels: plagiarism, publishing, satire

posted by Erik Sherman @ 11:22 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Don't Poke Fun at New Zealand's Parliament

If New Zealand's parliament doesn't want to be satired and ridiculed by people in the country, it doesn't have to be. According to a Press Gazette story:

The new standing orders, voted in last month, concern the use of images of Parliamentary debates, and make it a contempt of Parliament for broadcasters or anyone else to use footage of the chamber for "satire, ridicule or denigration".

This is potentially punishable by some time in jail. Obviously Sauron didn't quite disappear from the land when

Labels: censorship, New Zealand, parliament, satire

posted by Erik Sherman @ 5:54 AM 0 Comments Links to this post