Tweeting the Passion of ChristIt appears that Trinity Church in Manhattan's financial district has set up a Twitter account -- @twspassionplay -- to perform the Passion Play via 140-character tweets. This offends me like few other things, because it treats religious ideas as so much product to be hawked. This gives an unfortunate new meaning to Christ's followers. (Thanks to a nameless friend for this last line.)
And so, I was inspired to write the following parody ... not of the Passion Play, but of this asinine idea of moving everything to new media, whether appropriate or not, and selling religion. For those who insist on taking this as an attack on Christian idea, don't bother leaving a message here – go talk to Trinity Church. They're the ones trying to make personal gain off this.
@Narrator: Last Supper
@Christ: Dig in. #apostles
@Christ: Bread, anyone? #apostles
@Christ: Pass the wine. #apostles
@Luke: @ Jesus Good wine. What vintage?
@Christ: @Luke Five minute ago.
@Peter: Pass the potatoes. #apostles
@Judas: @Peter Sorry, took the last one.
@Christ: One of you will betray me. #apostles
@Peter: @Christ Is it I?
@Andrew: @Christ Is it I?
@BigJames: @Christ Is it I?
@LittleJames: @Christ Is it I?
@John: @Christ Is it I?
@Philip: @Christ Is it I?
@Bartholomew: @Christ Is it I?
@Matthew: @Christ Is it I?
@Thomas: @Christ Is it I?
@Thaddeus: @Christ Is it I?
@Simon: @Christ Is it I?
@Christ: Nice grammar. #apostles
@Judas: @Christ Is it I?
@Christ: RT @Judas: @Christ Is it I?
@Peter: @Christ I'll go to prison with you.
@Christ: @Peter Oh, yeah. Right.
@Christ: I'm short on cash. Anyone have the tip? #apostles
@Judas: @Christ Not now, but I will soon.
@Christ: I'm going for a walk. Anyone else? #apostles
@Narrator: Garden of Gethsemane:
@Christ: @Father Do I hafta?
@Christ: @Father Hello?
@Christ: Stop snoring! #apostles
@Judas: @Christ [smooch]
@Christ: @Judas Eeewww!
@RomanSoldier1: @Christ Time's up.
@Christ: @RomanSoldier1 Yes, I've already heard.
@Narrator: Christ Judged
@Crowd1: @Christ Guilty!
@Crowd2: @Christ Pfffft.
@Crowd3: @Peter Aren't you a friend of his?
@Peter: @Crowd3 Sorry, don't know him.
@Crowd4: @Peter I've seen you with him.
@Peter: @Crowd4 Nope.
@Crowd5: @Peter Me too.
@Peter: @Crowd5 Said I don't know him!
@Rooster: Cockadoodle doo.
@Pilate: I don't see a problem. #crowd
@Priest: @Pilate He's a troublemaker.
@Pilate: Send him to @Herod. #crowd
@Herod: @Christ Come on … just a *little* miracle?
@Herod: Take him back to @Pilate. #crowd
@Pilate: @Christ Sorry, dude.
@Narrator: Christ on the Cross
@RomanSoldier2: Nail him down. #soldiers
@Christ: @Father Forgive them. They know not what they tweet.