Flash in the Pan

The durian has the reputation to have the most unpleasantly pungent aroma of all fruits, described as "smelling like garbage, moldy cheese or rotting fish," according to not only an AP story, but everything I've heard about it over the years. I remember traveling in Singapore on business and talking to a PR person representing the country. "Oh, I know it smells bad," she said, a bit embarrassed. "But I love it." I didn't try one then, but I understand how sometimes, as with some fine cheeses, you must come to terms with aroma.

However, there are people who like to see just how much they can prod nature, and a government researcher in Thailand has apparently found a way to remove that aromatic calling card. Some out and out don't believe the claim:

"I don't think it's possible to make a durian that doesn't smell," said Somchai Tadchang, the owner of a durian orchard on Kret, an island on the Chao Phraya river north of Bangkok.

"Anyway, durians actually smell good," he said. "Only rotten durians stink."

The scientist in question cross-bred 90 varieties to create something "that he says smells as mild as a banana." And yet people who like the fruit also like the smell. So why did he spend a reported 30 years on this project? Was it a traumatic incident from his childhood? Or did he remove Freud from his psyche? I could have given him a solution long ago: a nasally-sported clothespin.