Flash in the Pan

Sometimes I run across deeply disturbing business concepts in press releases. The latest in my why-didn't-someone-say-stop category is Spotlight Live, a new eatery in Times Square with two stages. Diners can have a turn performing with professional back-up singers in front of an audience that is captive until dessert is over. A big screen brings the ... uh ... mmm ... well ... entertainment out onto the street and performances are on demand TV and stream online. I think I'd be streaming out on the second rendition of Memories. Oh, and if you have stage fright, there are private recording booths. Private? As in no one else hears? Yes, please.

Here's one of their paragraphs on the food:

A shining culinary star, Kerry Simon creates the dazzling American fare for Spotlight Live. Dubbed by Rolling Stone as the "Rock 'n' Roll Chef," Simon is heralded for his inventive, whimsical approach to classic American fare, putting his cutting-edge stamp on comfort foods for the new Spotlight Live menu. Starters will include "Central Park" Pigs in a Blanket with spicy mustard and relish and French Onion Dip with Homemade Potato Chips. Classic entrees will include Pretzel Crusted Pork Chops with Sweet Potato Mash and Spaghetti and Meatballs with cheese garlic bread. Finally, the dessert menu will include nostalgic favorites like Cotton Candy, Spotlight Cupcakes, Make- Your-Own Sundaes and Sno Cones. Already a smash success with his eponymous restaurants in Las Vegas and LA, Chef Simon serves up imaginative and modern cuisine to the Times Square locale.

Shining culinary star? Inventive? Pigs in a blanket (hot dogs in pancakes, to jog memories) with spicy mustard and relish? Pretzel crusted pork chops? The performances don't sound so bad now, and that's a shame. Think I'll just take the family to Ellen's Stardust Diner where the singers are pros and you can get an old-fashioned egg cream.