How Presidential Candidates Answer the 3AM Call

The Clinton and Obama campaigns had traded those "How would he/she/it answer that call in the middle of the night?" ads. But I realized that no one actually mentioned what the answer would be. So I put the vast resources of the En Words crack investigative team to work and came up with answers. Here is how each of the three major presidential candidates would answer a crisis call at 3 in the morning:

• John McCain Nuke 'em.


• Barack Obama Maybe if we wait until breakfast, things will change.


• Hillary Clinton Bill, it's for you. (Pause.) Bill? Are you there, Bill?