Don't Try Breathing Helium - A Foolish Predatory Freelance Market Concept

As you may know, breathing helium makes your speech sound high-pitched and cartoon-like. It's also unhealthy if you keep inhaling for any period of time, because you miss the oxygen that keeps you alive. According to this piece in the Boston Herald, you might consider avoiding the online site Helium.com. The company has been trying to do the "citizen journalism" thing, otherwise known as scoring effectively free copy to build traffic and get ad money. (A pittance goes to some writers, but that to me doesn't count.) Now the Andover, MA-based business is trying something new:

But a few weeks ago Helium began offering a new product simply called “marketplace,” in which publishers and editors can advertise for certain types of stories they need.

They post a description of the article, the expected price, length and deadline - and wait for writers to submit articles for consideration.

In other words, company CEO Mark Ranalli expects publishers to tip their hands about coverage, professional freelancers to send in spec work, and "victorious" writers to fork over 20% for Helium's doing nothing more than essentially acting as a classified ad site. Oh, and they money? From "$20 to $200 for each selected article." Ooh, ooh, I'm soooo excited.

I'll give it a month and then start looking to the eastern horizon for a giant plume of smoke from the crash and burn. I don't usually take pleasure in listening for the ascending engine whine as the vehicle plummets, but I'll make an exception in this case, bad enough to pass insulting and enter the realm of laughable.

Usually people who get commissions actually do some selling and don't expect payment for standing around. This sounds like a proposition that belongs with ones you might hear in seedy bars. Oh, wait, now I know why: Pimping is still pimping.