Craigslist Scams and Other Cheap Ass Lowlifes

If you've ever looked at Craigslist posts for writers (and, to be fair, they're not all scams), you've probably seen calls for writers to send in sample content to show how well they write. Before even considering sending a sample (and I'm sure the experienced pros wouldn't get as far as consideration), check the following web post:

Heyya peeps, haven't been on in a long while since the hack attacks, but got into this AC thing. So far its shit cause they're real big bloody assholes about what kind of articles they want; kinda like a little kid who picks at his food.

Well I guessed they couldnt turn professionally written articles down so here's what I did short and simple. I went to craiglist put up a job listing in suburbs and shit like that (since the cities cost $25), it was for a writing position on how-to's and guides. I instructed them to send me a newly written sample 500 word article on a topic that I chose for each ad. I also asked for a resume to make it look more authentic.

Took about 4 days, but I got maybe 10 to 20 articles on good subjects that I submitted to AC and got paid a good $35 bucks total for the articles since they were very nicely written.

Yup, there are people who put up such notices just to get articles and then to resell them. The best way to avoid such crap is to ignore the postings.

But that's not the real problem, because this is so obviously a scam. The real problem is all the businesses and organizations and individuals that want every writer to take a flier with them because they think they have some God-given right to impose on anyone who seems even remotely literate.

Not long ago, the -- get this -- National Endowment for Financial Education, a freaking non-profit "that helps Americans from all walks of life gain the knowledge and skills necessary to achieve their financial well-being" was emailing writers to see if they were available to work, but wanted two articles rewritten so they could decide which approach they liked best and choose the writers they thought were a fit. Do free work for the possibility of maybe getting some work. Is this their idea of financial well-being, or even borderline intelligence?

Screw that. I'm absolutely sick of it. In the words of Goodfellas, "Fuck you, pay me." You're not sure that you'll like what I do? Fuck you, pay me. Not sure what you really need, but figure you'll know it when you see it? Fuck you, pay me. Want to be able to sample everything on a restaurant's menu and then decide afterward what you'll actually order? Fuck you, pay me.

Most of us try to be pleasant, polite, and profession. But there's no getting through to people whose skulls are as thick as the Earth's mantle. To such people, I say:

1. This isn't a pastime. I actually have to work for a living.
2. Do you get paid? If not, do you own a piece of the company? No? Jeez, you really are as stupid as you look, aren't you?
3. You want a guarantee? Pay extra money at Best Buy.
4. Do I look like a trust fund baby?
5. If you can't say it with a straight face to the electric company, don't try me. I have less money and understanding than they do.
6. Maybe you can live with yourself in asking people to do free work for your convenience, but not in my office or on my dime.
7. Have you ever read The No Asshole Rule?

When some moron who thinks you were born yesterday suggests this kind of bullshit, because there is no other word for it, say this:

Don't tell me about getting exposure to a bunch of deadbeat bums like you. Don't tell me that I can get enough money for hours of my work to buy a pack of gum. Don't tell me that you might pay me at some time in the future. Pay me for the work you're asking me to do or go fuck yourself, because I'm certainly not going to let you fuck me.