Fear of Phoning: 5 Techniques to Reduce It

From time to time I see writers posting online messages about feeling afraid to call clients. Personally, I think it's a mistake to simply avoid the situation by using email for several reasons:

• Constantly avoiding what you fear only strengthens the emotion's grip on you.
• Editors often ignore email, or the messages get pushed into a spam filter, leaving the writer wondering why there is no answer.
• Sometimes the phone is the best form of communication, next to being in-person, and to avoid it is to give up an important marketing and sales tool.

I often see another writer answer something to the extent of, "Oh, but you're great, so just call. Don't be worried about it." Tell that to the person in the middle of fear. It may sound good, but the results can be exactly the opposite of what the encourager might want. Instead, here are some approaches that can be helpful. None of them require you to directly confront the fear, as often the most effective approach is an indirect one that lets you focus on intellect or action, both of which offer you far more control:

• Write it down One of the ways the fear of phoning comes out is the sense that you're babbling and sound like a complete loon. So write down all the points you want to make in roughly the order you want to make them. When you're prepared and know what you have to say, then you can stick with that, rather than trying to wing it.
• Take your time There is no rule that all negotiations happen within one sentence, let alone one conversation. Take the time you need to make your points. If someone comes up with something you're not ready for, say that you have to give it some thought and plan a subsequent discussion on the issue.
• Schedule ahead It's tought to make yourself pick up the phone when you're in the middle of fear. But the entire situation is different when you've scheduled the call and you cannot simply not bother. Use the power of your own obligation to get you on the phone in the first place, when possible.
• You can always say no You tend to get on a call to conduct a negotiation, whether over a contract, an assignment, or even the attempt to get an assignment. Fear comes in part from the concern that you won't get what you want. When that happens, invoke the power of walking away. There is no single assignment that will make or break your career and no single job that will make or break your entire financial existence. There are always other clients and other work out there; remind yourself to reduce the pressure of how much you need this particular negotiation to go through.
• Do some marketing A variation on the previous point, you can become more confident when you have more prospects. Reduce your dependence by sending off a few queries before you get on the phone. The more choices you have in work, the more control you have and, as a result, the more confidence and less fear you will feel.

Work with every intellectual and physical tool you have in a way that increases the odds in your favor and reduces the power of fear.