Hold the Response

When you're pitching yourself - which, if you're a working writer, is virtually every day in some way or another - you'll find times when someone doesn't seem interested, or doesn't seem to get what you're saying. There will be days when the temptation to snap back and the ignorant putz will be great. Refrain, as you'll only do yourself ill.

The other day I had a couple of Profnet queries out, and I got a response from someone whose pitch didn't grab me for the particular story I was writing. When I replied, he asked why, and I told him. "You've got me laughing," he said, going on to explain how I was wrong. And the guy was promoting a book on marketing. My reaction? Who the hell are you to say whether something is actually a fit or not? I replied in a rather terse and sarcastic way, and he was smart enough to apologize. He said that he had meant it humorously - and maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. It wasn't for me to judge, but I did appreciate the gesture, and he saved a potential future relationship, or at least opportunity.

Not all do. Sometimes you'll find someone, usually not a PR professional, react. The minute that happens, the person cuts himself or herself dead. It doesn't matter whether you're talking to a journalist, editor, or corporate buyer; the mechanism is the same. When you feel that urge rise, fight it down and substitute something more useful, like, "Thanks, maybe next time."

That doesn't mean there's never a situation in which you answer back, but it's rare. There are only two circumstances I can see it happening. One is when people are so outrageously abusive that for the good of society you must make them understand that they cannot walk over people with impunity. I've seen many writers talk about abusive contacts, and personally I suspect that perception is exaggerated. Abusive isn't someone being short or even insensitive - it's a level of harangue or attack that is hard to miss.

The other situation is when you are absolutely sure that an idea you have would be a fit for someone. Under these circumstances, you go back, apologizing and indicating that if it's really not of interest, you'll drop it, but you're sure that you failed in your description, because you see a clear connection, and that you'd appreciate another chance. This also should be extremely rare. If you find yourself doing it more than a couple of times a year, there is something wrong - either you are pushing your ideas into places that really are not a fit, or you're dropping the ball in your initial explanations.

Except for these rare times, learn to lose the battle so that you might come back to the same field another day.