The No Assholes Interview

In a private email list I'm on, someone brought up the book, The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace by Robert Sutton. The context was another writer discussing how unpleasant it was writing a profile about an egotistical, overbearing, famous CEO. That got me to thinking about interviews I've done in the past. There are times you'll deal with unpleasant people in an interview. They may be overt, or could hide intractabilty and disdain behind a facade of, "Oh, it's so interesting to talk to you." Here are some ideas that might help:

• You're Being Played Whether friendly or nasty, the asshole subject is playing you and trying to gain control. Don't think, "Oh, that can't happen to me." It most assuredly can, does, and will. The first step to recovering control is to remember that you do react emotionally and that it probably is happening in any interview. You can be on guard for what you see, not what you don't.


• Do Your Homework To pull control back, which you need to do your job, don't try duking it out in being either unpleasant or icy. Make sure you've prepared and keep a list of potentially tough questions at hand. When someone tries to run over you, pull out some of the harder questions to turn the person back on himself or herself. As Boy Scout reporters say: Be prepared.


• Nonconfrontationally Confront People in the grip of their inner sphincter act like truculent children. Try getting above their behavior as you would for a child. Ask if there is something wrong bringing on the way they act. It might be that they have some personal problem that is a temporary trigger and that the outburst is unusual. But when people are confronted in a calm way, it often startles them back to more human behavior.

You cannot single-handedly reduce the number of unpleasant people in the world, but you can lessen the impact they have on you and your work.